Anxiety, sadness, hurt, anger, jealousy, judgement, frustration, overwhelm, fear, panic, worry, insecurity, defensiveness, panic…
Firstly, before you read this… take a really deep breath in. Hold for a few seconds and then blow out all the air completely. Really empty your lungs. Now breath in deeply again. Hold and release.
You are feeling a negative emotion right now because of your THOUGHTS.
I will repeat that because it is SO important: our thoughts are always responsible for the way we feel.
Only YOU are responsible for how you feel right now. However victimised you feel, you must understand this in order to calm yourself now and avoid feeling like this again.
Your subconscious brain is in fight, flight or freeze because it has recognised a familiar pattern that it believes will endanger your survival. This may seem dramatic but that is why you are feeling THIS terrible right now. Your body had to react this dramatically to your thoughts or you would not protect yourself from this imagined threat.
Take a moment now to be grateful that your mind and body are functioning perfectly. You are meant to have this intense a response to danger. If you didn’t there is a chance you would not survive. The issue here is that you need to communicate better with yourself so your brain can learn to decipher between what is a real threat to your life and what is a reaction to a past pain or trauma that the brain has stored and is being reminded of today?
We must relieve you of this suffering now so try these incredibly powerful few steps to emotional freedom:
BREATHE! - In for for 4, hold for 6 out for 8.
Change your thoughts & change how you feel. Your negative emotions have been caused by your THOUGHTS. You are in control of your thoughts so you are in control of your feelings.
These feelings WILL pass - when we’re caught up in a state of negative emotion we can’t believe that we will ever feel good again but we always do.
BREATHE! In for for 4, hold for 6 out for 8
Create perspective as this will give you a calming sense of RELIEF. Do this by thinking of how the situation could be 10 times worse or think about someone you know who is going through something even more challenging.
Think of yourself as a small child - either as the child version of yourself or imagine a child that you really love. What can you do or say to comfort this child (yourself) right now? Speak kindly to yourself, tell yourself that everything is going to be ok, that you are loved and this will pass.
Distract yourself - Can you think a kind thought about someone else. Can you sing your favourite up-lifting song to yourself and try and remember all the words? Can you notice something beautiful in the room and describe it to yourself in detail.
BREATH! In for for 4, hold for 6 out for 8 x 2.
Focus on soothing yourself - resist the urge to seek comfort from others - learn how to help yourself the same way you would help someone who reached out to you in this moment. Being able to soothe yourself is the most confidence-boosting, life-skill there is!
Think a positive thought about yourself - remember a time that you felt proud of yourself, you did well at something; you looked or felt amazing, or you did a good deed for someone else.
Think of someone you love DEEPLY - really feel your love for them - reeeeeeeally feel it.
BREATHE! In for for 4, hold for 6 out for 8.
Remember that you have tools to help you to feel better in any situation. Realise that your only job right now is to take yourself from a panic state of fight, flight or freeze to a calm state of rest and restore.
Your ‘cave-man brain’ thinks it is protecting you but there is no real threat to your life so you are suffering unnecessarily.
Tell yourself that you have incredible coping skills - remind yourself that you know exactly how to calm yourself down in this moment. Think how good you’re going to feel about yourself when you look back on this situation and remember pulling yourself out of these insane emotions and calming yourself down.
BREATHE! In for for 4, hold for 6 out for 8 and SMILE.
